Sargassum spp. blooms exacerbated by climate change and agricultural runoff are inundating Caribbean beaches, emitting toxic fumes and greenhouse gases through decomposition. This hurts tourism, artisanal fishing, shore-based industry, human health, standards-of-living, coastal ecology, and the global climate. Barriers, collection machinery, and Sargassum valorization have been unable to provide sufficient, sustainable, or widespread relief. This article presents a total Sargassum management system that is effective, low-impact, and economically scalable across the Caribbean. Littoral Collection Modules (LCMs), attached to artisanal fishing boats, collect Sargassum in nets which are brought to a barge. When full, the barge is towed to the deep ocean where Sargassum is pumped to ~150–200 m depth, whereafter it continues sinking (Sargassum Ocean Sequestration of Carbon; “SOS Carbon”). Costing and negative emissions calculations for this system show cleanup costs <$1/m3 and emissions reduction potential up to 1.356 → 3.029 tCO2e/dmt Sargassum. COVID-19 decimated Caribbean tourism, adding to the pressures of indebtedness and natural disasters facing the region. The “SOS Carbon strategy” could help the Caribbean “build back better” by establishing a negative emissions industry that builds resilience against Sargassum and flight shame (“flygskam”). Employing fishermen to operate LCMs achieves socioeconomic goals while increasing Sargassum cleanup and avoiding landfilling achieves sustainable development goals.