This article takes a light‐hearted look at the reasons why research is conducted. The research community itself comes under investigation.

A programme of group discussions among buyers of research revealed a variety of reasons for commissioning work. Although much research is conducted for rational reasons, the evidence suggests that power struggles within companies are of major importance in deciding exactly what projects shall be undertaken and several categories of “political” research emerged. The relationship between the research buyer and his researcher can be adversely affected if one or other (usually the researcher) suffers from “boffin syndrome”. A classification of research projects is offered. For research buyers, jobs can be boring or interesting; in type, there are methodical jobs, “panic” jobs and “couch” jobs—which begin and end in therapeutic advice from the buyer to the research user.