In gender and sexuality studies, heterosexual sex has often been portrayed in terms of inequality and injustice; however, there has been scant discussion of what social conditions may cultivate a democratic and egalitarian culture that sustains sexual autonomy. Developed from Nussbaum’s capabilities approach, I propose the erotic capabilities approach to assess and promote entitlement to erotic choices and erotic freedoms in everyday practice. I argue that erotic capabilities should consist of the following: (1) freedom from sexual coercion and deprivation; (2) democratized sexual knowledge; (3) sexual health options; (4) inclusive space for diversified erotic expressions; (5) erotic affiliation and negotiation; and (6) diversified erotic aspirations, fulfilments and experimentations. Drawing on a 29-month ethnography of a sex party club in Hong Kong, I demonstrate how the erotic capabilities approach can be used in a meso-level analysis to evaluate a sexual space or community which, while situated in the overarching patriarchal ideology, may or may not offer a reflexive space for its participants to define their erotic selves. As this study formulates sexuality as a vehicle of empowerment that can and should be cultivated and actualized, it illuminates the possibility to imagine and create agentic and pleasurable opportunities for people in different social locations under the patriarchy we still live in.