A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately happy. What a man can be he must be. This need we may call self-actualisation' (Maslow, 1943: 382).

A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately happy. What a man can be he must be. This need we may call self-actualisation' (Maslow, 1943: 382).

Purpose The purpose of this paper is to provide the first definition of sober sex and recommendations for health care professionals who work therapeutically with patients who struggle with intimacy after experiencing chemsex. Design/methodology/approach The recommendations are based on the clinical experience of a psychosexual therapist working with men having sex with men (MSM) in a Sexual Health clinic in central London. Findings The paper concludes that having a clear definition of sober sex and specific tools, such as healthy masturbation exercise, could prove helpful for health professionals who work with this cohort of patients. Originality/value This paper provides the first definition of sober sex and a clear set of guidelines for health professionals based on the clinical experience of the author.

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