Family education relationship is a general term for all the relationships that occur around family education activities. The establishment of family education relationship plays an important role in the activity process and effect of family education and will have a profound impact on children's physical and mental development. The study of family education relationship is an important issue that cannot be ignored in the study of family education theory. In order to enhance the effectiveness of family education, it is an objective requirement of theory and practice to rationally analyze and optimize the contemporary family education relationship from the perspective of communication theory. The introduction of communication theory into the field of family education will help to change the actual situation of lack of communication and barrier in contemporary family education relationship and also provide a new idea and perspective for the research and solution of other related problems in family education. Starting from the research and discussion of the basic theory of the relationship between communication and family education, this paper analyzes the concept and characteristics of family education relationship in detail, analyzes and examines the family education relationship in history, and establishes a basic understanding of family education relationship. On the basis of the research of the relevant basic theories, the paper explores and analyzes the current situation and reasons of the lack of communication and the blocking of the contemporary family education relationship. From the perspective of communication, it investigates the contemporary family-educational relationship, clarifies that the basic structure of the family-educational relationship is the unity of the internal interpersonal organizational relationship structure, the psychological relationship structure, and the activity process structure, and examines the current situation of the basic structure one by one. This paper proposes that, with the development of the times and society, the contemporary family education relationship has a huge development compared with the historical family education relationship, reflecting the characteristics of the times such as democracy, but there is still a lack of communication and barriers. Then it analyzes the various concrete manifestations of the lack of communication and the blocking situation in the contemporary family education relationship and its adverse consequences to family education. This paper verifies the influence of computational thinking on the optimization mechanism of family education and demonstrates the feasibility and effectiveness of computational thinking in family education. This optimizes the family education mechanism from the perspective of computational thinking and provides a research case with reference value for follow-up research.