A Child Wanted by Two, Conceived by Several: Lesbian-Parent Families Negotiating Procreation with a Known Donor

Côté, Isabel; Lavoie, Kévin

doi:10.1080/1550428x.2018.1459216

Cited by 16 publications

(8 citation statements)

References 32 publications

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“…In addition, no men reported any disagreements with the women who received their donation. This observation may support our analysis that prior negotiation of the agreement helps ensure the quality of the relationships as well as strong cohesion between the parties concerned (Côté & Lavoie, 2019). The self-selection effect may have affected the composition of the sample.…”

Section: Discussionsupporting

confidence: 83%

“…2 In some cases, he will be identified as the “father” and the child will have regular contact with him and his family, whereas in other situations, he may be identified as a “donor” and will not be part of the child’s life. This man’s place in the family system is subject to negotiation (Côté & Lavoie, 2019; Dempsey, 2010), and the initial arrangement may change or even be elaborated as the child grows and sometimes requests more frequent contacts with the donor (Haimes & Weiner, 2000).…”

mentioning

confidence: 99%

See 1 more Smart Citation

Interpreting fatherhood after donation: Social representations and identity resonances among men having assisted a lesbian couple in becoming parents.

Côté¹,

Lavoie²,

Montigny³

2020

Psychology of Men & Masculinities

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This article documents the social representations of the paternity of men involved in the parental project of lesbian couples as known sperm donors, that is, as part of an agreement established outside the medically assisted reproduction system. Eleven Quebec donors were interviewed to gather their views on their role with children conceived as a result of their donation. The results show that their representations are structured around a presence/absence dualism that reflects their experiences with their own fathers, while also following the agreement initially established with the mothers. Child care and daily presence are more associated with a paternal identity, whereas the donor or genitor identity refers to the genetic contribution transmitted through the donation. Between these two poles, some men must contend with significant ambiguity, given not only the absence of reference points or models but also the relational aspect of this practice of donor-assisted reproduction. Public Significance StatementThis study informs the public that the emergence of a paternal identity is a complex phenomenon for known sperm donors, dependent on the representations and interrelationships among the donor, lesbian mothers, family and friends as well the social universe in which they live.

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Section: Discussionsupporting

confidence: 83%

mentioning

confidence: 99%

Interpreting fatherhood after donation: Social representations and identity resonances among men having assisted a lesbian couple in becoming parents.

Côté¹,

Lavoie²,

Montigny³

2020

Psychology of Men & Masculinities

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“…Others reported instead that their parents had chosen a donor whom they could accept as a legal parent, and some had shared a social parenthood with him as an involved father. Similar strategies have previously been shown common among lesbian parents in Sweden and elsewhere (Park et al, 2016;Côté and Lavoie, 2019). The participants' parents had navigated the legal landscape to find pathways to have and raise children, a process that included circumventing, adapting to, and also opposing legal obstacles.…”

Section: Discussionmentioning

confidence: 88%

Life Finds a Way: Young Adults With Lesbian Mothers Reflect on Their Childhood Prior to Legal Recognition of Same-Sex Parents in Sweden

2020

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The strapline "life finds a way," from the classic movie Jurassic Park, referred to how the all-female dinosaurs in a theme park had been able to reproduce, despite the laws of nature. Similarly, the participants in the present study described how their lesbian mothers had shown that "life finds a way," when having children and forming a family, prior to the legal recognition of same-sex parents in Sweden. The study draws on interviews with eight young Swedish adults, aged 17-30 (average age 25). They had been raised by lesbian couples but were born prior to the legal recognition of same-sex parenthood. Prior to a legal change in 2003, a same-sex couple could not share legal parenthood. Further, female couples were excluded from Swedish assisted reproduction programs until 2005. The interviews have been analyzed thematically, and the article presents the results in four themes. The first theme, circumvent, oppose, or adapt to legal obstacles, shows the participants' reflections on how their parents navigated legal obstacles in order to have children and to live together as a family. The second theme, legal obstacles do not affect everyday life, depicts a common experience of how a lack of legal recognition seldom mattered to the participants during their childhood. Rather, they explained how their parents had been able to form parenthood and close relations without legal recognition. In contrast, the third theme describes occasions when legal parenthood matters. This theme highlights occasions when the lack of legal parenthood was problematic or devastating for the participants, such as when parents divorced, or one parent died. The final theme, the meaning of legal parents in adulthood, explores the participants' reflections on the meaning and impact of legal ties (or lack of legal ties) between themselves as young adults and their parents. The findings are discussed in relation to previous research on children and young adults with same-sex parents.

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“…Previous studies have pointed out that having children in lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and queer families (henceforth referred to as LGBTQ families) is a carefully considered (Côté & Lavoie, 2019) and planned process (Berkowitz & Marsiglio, 2007; Malmquist, 2015). In this article, we analyze the negotiations between different parties in the family forming processes of LGBTQ families.…”

Section: Introductionmentioning

confidence: 99%

“…Already in the early phase of this process, parents-to-be step outside their private family sphere. Having children often requires one or more other co-parenting partners (Erera & Segal-Engelchin, 2014; Herbrand, 2018), donated gametes (Côté & Lavoie, 2019), and/or services from a fertility clinic (Pralat, 2018).…”

Section: Introductionmentioning

confidence: 99%

“I didn’t Even Realize I Agreed to Meet the Child so Rarely.” Negotiations and Parental Desires in LGBTQ Family Forming Processes

Anttila

Palojoki

Vuori

et al. 2021

Journal of Family Issues

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This study explores the negotiations taking place in LGBTQ families before a child is born or added to the family. It asks who takes part in the negotiations and what issues are negotiated about. An online questionnaire answered by LGBTQ parents (n = 74) was analyzed with qualitative content analysis. The chain of phases leading to having a child can be referred to as a family forming process with various negotiation topics. The four phases are identified as parental desires, consideration of practices, reflecting on the decision, and concrete actions toward having a child. Besides the LGBTQ parents-to-be, significant others such as friends and the family of origin and external others such as donors and fertility clinics took part in the negotiations. Future parents needed to think about their desires in advance to enable fair and equal negotiations.

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A Child Wanted by Two, Conceived by Several: Lesbian-Parent Families Negotiating Procreation with a Known Donor

Cited by 16 publications

References 32 publications

Interpreting fatherhood after donation: Social representations and identity resonances among men having assisted a lesbian couple in becoming parents.

Interpreting fatherhood after donation: Social representations and identity resonances among men having assisted a lesbian couple in becoming parents.

Life Finds a Way: Young Adults With Lesbian Mothers Reflect on Their Childhood Prior to Legal Recognition of Same-Sex Parents in Sweden

“I didn’t Even Realize I Agreed to Meet the Child so Rarely.” Negotiations and Parental Desires in LGBTQ Family Forming Processes

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