Humility and its Relationship to Self-condemnation, Defensiveness and Self-forgiveness Following Interpersonal Transgressions

Abstract

Ideally, following an interpersonal transgression an offender will accept responsibility, work through guilt or shame, and be willing to reconcile with the victim. However, this process can be thwarted by defensiveness or self-condemnation. We tested whether humility was associated with increased self-forgiveness, decreased self-condemnation and defensiveness, and increased willingness to reconcile. In Study 1 ( N = 302), we found trait humility was associated with higher levels of trait self-forgiveness directly and indirectly via reduced defensiveness (but not self-condemnation). In Study 2 ( N = 194), we found that trait and state humility were associated with higher levels of self-forgiveness directly and indirectly via reduced defensiveness, and through both of these, humility was positively associated with willingness to reconcile. There was also a weak positive indirect effect of humility on willingness to reconcile via reduced self-condemnation. These studies suggest that humility, long ignored in forgiveness studies, might play several crucial roles.

Psychological interventions to promote self-forgiveness: a systematic review

“…Literature reveals that parameters such as social exclusion, internet addiction [74], hypersexual behavior [88], and chronic unhealthy behavior [75] which are negatively correlated with self-forgiveness. At the same time, positive psychological variables such as humility [76]and flourishing [77] are positively associated with self-forgiveness. Interventions emphasizing these variables can be considered in future research.…”

Associations of self‐forgiveness processes with distress and well‐being outcomes: Evidence from a longitudinal study of Indonesian adults

“…Therefore, intervention programs that target self-forgiveness should be attentive to both dimensions. In addition, intervention programs should attend to developing other virtues that might make self-forgiveness more likely, such as humility (Onody et al, 2020).…”

Turning Tables: Offenders Feel Like “Victims” When Victims Withhold Forgiveness

“…Willingness to reconcile. An eight-item scale (α = .86) comprising items adapted from Onody et al (2020), Tomlinson et al (2004), and Wenzel and Okimoto (2010) measured the extent to which participants were willing to reconcile with the victim of their transgression (e.g., "I was willing to reconcile with this person"; 1 = strongly disagree, 7 = strongly agree).…”