“I can’t get no satisfaction”: Insecure attachment, inhibited sexual communication, and sexual dissatisfaction

Abstract

An Internet survey was conducted to extend the investigation of attachment style to the domains of sexual communication and sexual satisfaction. We hypothesized that insecure attachment would be associated with sexual dissatisfaction, mediated by inhibited communication of sexual needs. Further, the association of attachment with inhibited communication was expected to be mediated by attachment‐related tendencies toward deference to partners’ needs, concern with the relationship implications of sexual choices, general anxiety regarding sex, and feelings for one’s partner. Somewhat different mediational pathways were predicted for each of the 2 dimensions of attachment insecurity: anxiety and avoidance. Respondents (N= 1,989, around half of them involved in a sexual relationship at the time of the study and half not involved but with previous sexual relationship experience) completed measures of attachment‐related anxiety and avoidance, neuroticism (a possible confound), and sexual communication and satisfaction. Results generally supported the hypotheses and provided additional evidence regarding the associations between attachment style, sexual communication, and sexual satisfaction.

Attachment, Sexual Assertiveness, and Sexual Outcomes in Women with Provoked Vestibulodynia and Their Partners: A Mediation Model

“…More specifically, sexual assertiveness completely mediated the association between attachment dimensions and sexual satisfaction, and between attachment avoidance and sexual functioning in women with PVD. This result confirms our prediction that anxiously attached women may lack the ability to assert their sexual preferences, as seen in a study among college students indicating a tendency for anxiously attached individuals to defer their sexual needs over to partners (Davis et al, 2006). Insecurely attached individuals may lack the ability to assert their sexual limits.…”

“…These results are similar to the ones found in community sample studies (Birnbaum, 2007;Butzer & Campbell, 2008;Davis et al, 2006;Fricker & Moore, 2002) as well as in studies of clinically distressed couples (Brassard et al, 2012). Many reasons can explain why anxiously attached women with PVD are less satisfied with their sexual experiences.…”

“…However, in a long-term perspective, these non-assertive behaviors may have detrimental effects on pain, sexual functioning and satisfaction. Correlational studies already show that attachment anxiety is associated with poorer sexual experiences (Birnbaum, 2007;Brassard, Peloquin, Dupuy, Wright, & Shaver, 2012;Butzer & Campbell, 2008;Costa & Brody, 2011;Davis et al, 2006;Gentzler & Kerns, 2004) and greater sex-related worries (Birnbaum et al, 2006;Davis et al, 2006). Two studies using a dyadic approach have shown interesting partner effects indicating that an individual's attachment can predict their partner's sexual outcome (Brassard et al, 2012;Butzer & Campbell, 2008).…”

“…Research has begun to show that avoidant attachment is also associated with a tendency to be less assertive sexually and to comply with unwanted sex, although motivation underlying this behavior would be different (Gentzler & Kerns, 2004;Impett & Peplau, 2002). Evidence shows that individuals higher in avoidant attachment report less sex-related pleasure (Birnbaum et al, 2006;Tracy, Shaver, Albino, & Cooper, 2003), are more likely to manifest aversive sexual affects and cognitions (Birnbaum, 2007;Birnbaum et al, 2006), and are generally less satisfied with their sexual interactions (Brassard et al, 2012;Butzer & Campbell, 2008;Davis et al, 2006;Fricker & Moore, 2002). Further, two dyadic studies indicated that partners of individuals with higher attachment avoidance report lower sexual satisfaction (Brassard et al, 2012;Butzer & Campbell, 2008).…”

“…The concept of sexual assertiveness refers to the ability to communicate openly about sexual matters including the initiation of sexual activity, refusal of unwanted sexual activities, communication of sexual preferences and negotiation of desirable sexual behavior such as contraceptive use and safer-sex behavior (Morokoff et al, 1997;Pierce & Hurlbert, 1999). The ability to assert one's sexual preferences seems to be impaired in women with attachment anxiety, who may be more likely to respond to their partners' sexual needs rather than to their own (Davis et al, 2006). The assertion of one's sexual limits, which refers to the capacity to refuse to engage in unwanted sexual practices, also seems to be impaired in women with attachment anxiety as seen in sexual compliance studies (Gentzler & Kerns, 2004;Impett & Peplau, 2002).…”