“I Was Told When I Could Hold, Talk With, or Kiss Our Daughter”: Exploring Fathers’ Experiences of Parental Alienation Within the Context of Intimate Partner Violence

Abstract

Previous research has highlighted that when men describe their experiences of intimate partner violence (IPV), they frequently talk about the use of children by their abusive partners. The behaviors they describe align with descriptions of so-called parental alienation (PA) where children are coercively controlled to reject one (alienated) parent in favor of the other. The situation of alienating behaviors within intimate partner and family violence structures is one that has been proposed but rarely explicitly studied. This study analyzed qualitative responses to an online survey by 171 fathers who have experienced alienating behaviors within the context of IPV. Four themes were found: direct manipulation of contact (including relocation and control of contact), manipulation through systems (including false allegations, and court and school settings), manipulation of children (including lying directly to children about fathers and involving children in abuse), and the wider context of violence (including physical, psychological, and controlling behaviors). The experiences described by men are discussed in relation to the theoretical and practical relationship between IPV and PA and implications for the current debate around the use of PA within family court cases.

Why stay despite intimate partner violence? Lived experiences of victims in positions of strength

“…This condition means that the victims had no power, or the abusers had more power. There were indications that participants seemed to be under coercive control (Bates & Hine, 2023;McLeod & Flood, 2018). Moreover, the findings concerning participants were also incomprehensible regarding the reasons that led them to marry their abusive spouses, which are denial and refusing advice (Diamant, 2023).…”

“…In cases of most men who are being abused by women, children become the tools of the abuse (Bates & Hine, 2023). While most men find it difficult to leave, those who manage to leave tend to be abused even more, mostly emotionally.…”