Men in the Triangle: Grief, Inhibition, and Defense

Abstract

Inhibition of emotional experience is a widely acknowledged characteristic of many Western-raised men. While this affective inhibition may impact men chronically in many ways, it becomes particularly salient when men are bereaved or otherwise grieving and are unable fully to experience normative emotional responses to loss. This article briefly examines some psychosocial developmental underpinnings of men's affective suppression that have been hypothesized by psychoanalytic theorists, and moves on to suggest an approach for helping grieving men reestablish contact with emotional experience. Experiential Dynamic Therapy (EDT)-a family of approaches that attends to underlying or core affect, the anxiety it provokes in clients, and the defensive maneuvers they use to avoid the anxiety-provoking affect-is introduced and described operationally. The article concludes with specific sample interventions grounded in EDT for helping grieving young men gain access to a full range of affect.A young man presents at the counseling center with a vague complaint; something just isn't working for him. He finds himself withdrawing from his romantic partners, leaving him unable to sustain relationships, and he cannot feel connected with others in spite of his wealth of acquaintanceships. He