The Relationship Between Pronoun Use in Couple Interactions, Attachment, and Relationship Satisfaction

Abstract

Research shows pronoun use may be related to relationship factors. Our research invited 40 couples (adults mostly partnered for 2 or fewer years) to engage in a 15-min conversation after completing demographics, attachment, and relationship satisfaction measures. Romantic partners tended to use pronouns similarly. Attachment anxiety and avoidance were related to lower relationship satisfaction. Bivariate actor partner interdependence models showed when men used we pronouns, lower relationship satisfaction was reported in both partners. When men used I pronouns, women were more likely to use we pronouns. When men used you pronouns, women were more likely to use I pronouns and engage in more attachment avoidant behaviors. Findings suggest communication patterns may be interpreted differently by younger couples. Couples therapists may want to investigate communication patterns to create a new dialogue that increases relationship satisfaction and limits insecure attachment behaviors.