The sound of silence: evolution of the object in the relationship of parents of two twins

Abstract

This paper derives from a longer dissertation submitted for an MA in Psychoanalytic Observational Studies. Aspects of thinking about silence and significant contributions to the psychoanalytic and psychological research history are discussed in depth as a prologue to the discussion of a case in which the parents of twins were seen by the author in an attempt to encourage more listening as well as talking between the father and mother and with their children. Silence is seen as a significant internal sounding board through which the individual may listen to what others say, to himself, and to enable the birth to new thoughts. The review in depth of the literature on silence is applied to therapeutic work undertaken by the author with a couple one of whose twins was in psychotherapy. The author connects the significance of the absence of silence and the absence of toleration of silence in the couple with absence of the experience of being taken in, contained, and of the experience of being heard and listened to by internal parents.