Besides the fact that sexual relationships have been understood and misunderstood in different ways, the possibility of sexual abuse remains a big issue amongst African South Africans. It has been sexual relationships, amongst other factors, that have been widely used by one gender to dominate the other. Sometimes this happens because women, because of their defencelessness, are perceived to enjoy the kind of sexual abuse they are subjected to. It is from this kind of attitude that some people, particularly men, come to the conclusion that sexual intercourse is another form of hospitality that can be offered to women. This kind of thinking has been fuelled by the traditional rejection of singlehood or widowhood and other related situations that women find themselves in. It is for this reason that polygamy, levirate marriage and cohabitation have crept into the minds of some men. This paper will attempt to unveil how thinking of sexual intercourse as extending a form of hospitality has encouraged the domination and abuse of women in the African context. The study will also unveil how the gift of sex has been misunderstood and misinterpreted in order to subject women to sexual violence and harassment.
Afgesien van die feit dat seksuele verhoudinge op verskillende wyses verstaan en misverstaan is, bly die moontlikheid van seksuele misbruik ‘n groot probleem onder Suid-Afrikaanse Afrikane. Dit was nog altyd seksuele verhoudinge, sowel as ander faktore, wat wyd deur een geslag gebruik is om die ander geslag te domineer. Soms gebeur dit omdat gedink word dat vroue, as gevolg van hulle weerloosheid, die soort seksuele misbruik waaraan hulle blootgestel word geniet. Voortvloeiend hieruit ontstaan die houding dat sommige mense, veral mans, tot die gevolgtrekking kom dat seksuele gemeenskap ‘n vorm van gasvryheid is wat vroue behoort te geniet. Hierdie soort denke word aangehelp deur die tradisionele verwerping van enkellopende vroue en weduwees en ander soortgelyke situasies waarin vroue hulleself bevind. Dit is om hierdie rede dat poligamie, swaershuwelike en saambly sommige mans se denke insluip. Hierdie artikel sal poog om aan te toon hoe ‘n denkbeeld van seksuele omgang as ‘n vorm van gasvryheid die dominasie en mishandeling van vroue in die Afrika-konteks versterk is. Die studie sal ook aantoon hoe die “geskenk” van seksuele omgang vroue meer blootstel aan seksuele geweld en mishandeling.