The author embraces the theoretical position that the failure of a girl to establish female identification is preceded by failure to individuate, which causes a regression to an earlier, symbiotic stage. She believes that this is particularly relevant in relation to the aging homosexual female, given that significant loss and separation occur in later life. The capacity to cope with separation and loss can only develop if the individual is capable of self‐object differentiation. The case history of a 70‐year‐old female homosexual is presented to support the author's conclusion that psychoanalytically oriented therapy is the treatment of choice for the aging homosexual female.