The Landsat record represents an amazing resource for discovering land-cover changes and monitoring the Earth’s surface. However, making the most use of the available data, especially for automated applications ingesting thousands of images without human intervention, requires a robust screening of cloud and cloud-shadow, which contaminate clear views of the land surface. We constructed a deep convolutional neural network (CNN) model to semantically segment Landsat 8 images into regions labeled clear-sky, clouds, cloud-shadow, water, and snow/ice. For training, we constructed a global, hand-labeled dataset of Landsat 8 imagery; this labor-intensive process resulted in the uniquely high-quality dataset needed for the creation of a high-quality model. The CNN model achieves results on par with the ability of human interpreters, with a total accuracy of 97.1%, omitting only 3.5% of cloud pixels and 4.8% of cloud shadow pixels, which is seven to eight times fewer missed pixels than the masks distributed with the imagery. By harnessing the power of advanced tensor processing units, the classification of full images is I/O bound, making this approach a feasible method to generate masks for the entire Landsat 8 archive.