Most research on lesbians has used self‐report questionnaires, and assumed that respondents who complete a “lesbian” questionnaire self‐identify as lesbians and engage in sexual relationships with women. The present study examined the degree to which 2,393 women who answered a “Lesbian Wellness Survey” are distributed on five aspects of lesbian sexuality and the coming‐out process. The five aspects were: (a) Sexual Orientation (numerical rating of sexual identity from exclusively lesbian/gay to exclusively heterosexual); (b) Years Out (length of time of self‐identity as lesbian/gay/bisexual); (c) Outness/Disclosure (amount of disclosure of sexual orientation to others); (d) Sexual Experience (proportion of sexual relationships with women); and (e) Lesbian Activities (extent of participation in lesbian community events). Mild but significant correlations were found among these dimensions, indicating that being lesbian is not a homogeneous experience. Closer examination by the demographic characteristics of race/ethnicity and age revealed a diversity of experience. African American, Native American, and Latina respondents had moderate correlations among these aspects of lesbian experience, whereas White and Asian American respondents evidenced only mild or nonsignificant correlations. The results indicate that researchers who are studying one aspect of the lesbian experience (e.g., outness to others) need to ensure that they are not assuming such behavior based on other dimensions (such as frequent participation in lesbian community activities or years of being out), especially among White and Asian American lesbians.