Viruses and cytolytic lymphocytes operate in an environment filled with dying and dead cells, and cell fragments. For viruses, irreversible fusion with doomed cells is suicide. For cytotoxic T lymphocyte and natural killer cells, time and limited lytic resources spent on apoptotic targets is wasteful and may result in death of the host. We make the case that the target membrane cytoskeleton is the best source of information regarding the suitability of potential targets for engagement for both viruses and lytic effector cells, and we present experimental evidence for detection of apoptotic cells by HIV, without loss of infectivity.