An Affair to Remember: A Mixed-Methods Survey Examining Therapists’ Experiences Treating Infidelity

Abstract

In this mixed-methods study, we analyzed data from 351 couple therapists who completed our Therapists' Experiences Treating Infidelity (TETI) survey. The present survey is a follow-up of previous iterations that examined therapists' attitudes toward infidelity and affair recovery treatment. Our TETI survey provided additional questions pertaining to therapists' personal history with affairs and perceptions on current research and training standards. Results showed that various therapist and couple factors serve to impede affair recovery treatment. Additionally, this survey revealed several similarities in therapists' attitudes from prior surveys, despite decades having passed between when the present survey and previous versions. In this article, we (a) outline findings from this mixed-methods survey, (b) discuss implications for the field, and (c) offer directions for future research.

A Pilot Study Examining the Effectiveness of Gottman Method Couples Therapy Over Treatment-as-Usual Approaches for Treating Couples Dealing with Infidelity

“…Infidelity is a common and distressing issue in couple therapy, with considerable negative consequences for relationships and individuals. However, according to Irvine and Peluso (2022), a significant number of couple therapists do not feel equipped to handle cases of infidelity because their graduate training coursework did not cover this topic, and even though they work with couples who have experienced infidelity, many therapists do not seek out additional specialized training. Additionally, inadequate efficacy and effectiveness research on treating infidelity in couples therapy highlights the necessity for effective interventions to train therapists and support couples seeking to recover from this relational trauma (Irvine & Peluso, 2022; Softas-Nall et al, 2008).…”

“…Infidelity is a significant source of distress for couples, contributing to enduring and devasting relational consequences, including but not limited to separation or divorce (Vossler & Moller, 2014), increased depression and anxiety (Schneider et al, 2012), and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms such as hypervigilance and intrusive thoughts (Gottman & Gottman, 2017; Irvine, 2022). Among heterosexual couples, lifetime rates of infidelity in the United States range from roughly 22% for men and 13% for women, with anywhere from 20% to 40% of couples worldwide admitting to having engaged in an affair during their lifetime (General Social Survey, 2017; Irvine & Peluso, 2022; Peluso, 2019). Recently, Gottman et al (2020) presented the results of assessments from over 40,000 couples seeking couple therapy and completing the Gottman Connect (GC) assessment tool, a battery of online questionnaires (reviewed further below).…”

“…Practitioners surveyed over the last three decades consistently identify infidelity as one of the most frequent and challenging presenting issues (Glass & Wright, 1992; Irvine & Peluso, 2022; Softas-Nall et al, 2008; Vossler & Moller, 2014; Whisman et al, 1997). In addition, clinicians feel least prepared to address infidelity over all relationship issues presenting for couple therapy (Irvine & Peluso, 2022; Softas-Nall et al, 2008).…”

“…Practitioners surveyed over the last three decades consistently identify infidelity as one of the most frequent and challenging presenting issues (Glass & Wright, 1992; Irvine & Peluso, 2022; Softas-Nall et al, 2008; Vossler & Moller, 2014; Whisman et al, 1997). In addition, clinicians feel least prepared to address infidelity over all relationship issues presenting for couple therapy (Irvine & Peluso, 2022; Softas-Nall et al, 2008). According to Irvine and Peluso (2022), clinicians’ unpreparedness is attributable to “the lack of specialized training in graduate programs to treat infidelity-related issues such as navigating affair disclosure and managing countertransference reactions” (p. 324).…”

“…In addition, clinicians feel least prepared to address infidelity over all relationship issues presenting for couple therapy (Irvine & Peluso, 2022; Softas-Nall et al, 2008). According to Irvine and Peluso (2022), clinicians’ unpreparedness is attributable to “the lack of specialized training in graduate programs to treat infidelity-related issues such as navigating affair disclosure and managing countertransference reactions” (p. 324). Additionally, in this mixed-methods study, the researchers examined 351 couple therapists’ experiences treating affairs, revealing that roughly 90% of participants denied having ever received an infidelity-specific course in their graduate training program.…”