An Exploratory Study of Custody Challenges Experienced by Affirming Mothers of Transgender and Gender‐Nonconforming Children

Abstract

Family courts have lacked familiarity with evidence‐based recommendations regarding the best interests of transgender and gender‐nonconforming (TGNC) children, resulting in some affirming parents losing physical and/or legal custody. This exploratory, qualitative study with 10 affirming mothers of TGNC children who had experienced custody‐related challenges reported on salient themes, including “blame” for causing children's gender nonconformity, coercion by ex‐partners, bias in the courts, negative impact on children, emotional and financial toll on participants, and the critical importance of adequate resources. Findings indicate the need for better‐educated family court professionals, as well as socioemotional support and financial and legal assistance for affirming parents of TGNC children.

Predictors and Mental Health Benefits of Chosen Name Use Among Transgender Youth

“…These findings suggest that experiencing gender affirmation can be challenging for transgender people and they often face humiliation, discrimination, and violence from others (Galupo, Krum, Hagen, Gonzalez, & Bauerband, 2014; James et al, 2016; Kuper, Adams, & Mustanski, 2018; Maguen, Shipherd, Harris, & Welch, 2007). Furthermore, transgender youth often face misgendering in settings at which youth are already particularly vulnerable, such as when receiving medical care (Gridley et al, 2016), in foster care (Mountz, Capous-Desyllas, & Pourciau, 2018), court settings (e.g., when parents of transgender youth are fighting for custody; Kuvalanka, Bellis, Goldberg, & McGuire, 2019), and programs supporting homeless youth (Robinson, 2018; Shelton, 2015). Overall, the discrepancy between the need for gender affirming environments and low access to them because of social marginalization may result in anxiety and depression (Reisner et al, 2016; Sausa, Keatley, & Operario, 2007; Testa et al, 2017).…”

“…Although research shows that transgender people with chosen names express the need to be called by their chosen names (Coolhart & MacKnight, 2015; Grossman & D’Augelli, 2006; Sausa, 2005) and a number of investigators have speculated about the role of gender affirmation on transgender people’s well-being (Kuvalanka et al, 2019; Nordmarken, 2014; Nuttbrock et al, 2009; Sevelius, 2013), few studies have specifically investigated the mental health benefits of chosen name use for transgender youth in different social contexts. Instead, much of the research has focused on harmful reactions from nontransgender people: Transgender people whose legal identification does not match their gender presentation face verbal and physical violence and denial of services (Hill et al, 2017; James et al, 2016).…”

Romantic Relationships in Transgender Adolescents: A Qualitative Study

“…Nonaffirming families can potentially be limiting their transgender adolescent from care, and these adolescents experiences would be different from the studied population. 40 In future work, researchers should continue to explore the experiences of transgender youth before genderaffirming hormone treatment.…”

Grieving the transgender (assumed-cisgender) child: gendered mourning, the harms of cisnormativity, and the possibilities of creating livable trans futures

“…In October of 2019, Phoebe invited me to her house to get advice on how to best support her transgender daughter during the custody battle. I shared with her research on the experiences of mothers of trans youth in custody battles against unsupportive fathers (Kuvalanka et al 2019), and she resonated with the experiences of being blamed for the child's transness and the father using that as an argument of her being unfit for full custody. "That's something that I'm fighting for in the custody case because one of the conditions of her dad's parenting plan is that he gets to pick all the therapists and doctors, and, like, I absolutely cannot have that.…”

“…-Luke (36 years old), father of 8-yearold transgender girl *Came out at 2 years old Traditional views of gender are embedded into many institutions of social life, including religion, which create the illusion that binary and fixed gender is the only normal and natural experience of gender. The "bad parenting" narrative in particular is often used against supportive parents of transgender children, insinuating that transness is the result of harm done by the parents or that supporting transition is a form of child abuse (Kuvalanka et al 2019). This narrative also contributes to parent's gendered mourning process because it produces shame and self-blame about their own parenting.…”