The tremendous diversity of animal behaviors has inspired generations of scientists from an array of biological disciplines. To complement investigations of ecological and evolutionary factors contributing to behavioral evolution, modern sequencing, gene editing, computational and neuroscience tools now provide a means to discover the proximate mechanisms upon which natural selection acts to generate behavioral diversity. Social behaviors are motivated behaviors that can differ tremendously between closely related species, suggesting phylogenetic plasticity in their underlying biological mechanisms. In addition, convergent evolution has repeatedly given rise to similar forms of social behavior and mating systems in distantly related species. Social behavioral divergence and convergence provides an entry point for understanding the neurogenetic mechanisms contributing to behavioral diversity. We argue that the greatest strides in discovering mechanisms contributing to social behavioral diversity will be achieved through integration of interdisciplinary comparative approaches with modern tools in diverse species systems. We review recent advances and future potential for discovering mechanisms underlying social behavioral variation; highlighting patterns of social behavioral evolution, oxytocin and vasopressin neuropeptide systems, genetic/transcriptional "toolkits," modern experimental tools, and alternative species systems, with particular emphasis on Microtine rodents and Lake Malawi cichlid fishes.