Arranged Marriage Often Subverts Offspring Mate Choice: An HRAF‐Based Study

Abstract

In many species, females and males form long‐term mating bonds, but marriage—and especially arranged marriage—are uniquely human traits. While marriage practices impact many cultural phenomena, they also can have evolutionary (i.e., fitness) consequences. Strongly felt but not necessarily conscious mating preferences presumably evolved because they provide fitness benefits compared to random mating, and this prediction has been supported by experimental animal studies. Arranged marriage might similarly reduce fitness in humans, but only if parents regularly choose different mates for their offspring than offspring would choose for themselves. Here we report a broad ethnographic survey exploring whether parents and offspring disagree over partner choice in arranged marriages. Using the Human Relations Area Files, we reviewed 543 ethnographies to assess the relative frequencies of parent–offspring agreement and disagreement over partner choice, the reasons for disagreement, and the outcomes of disagreement. In all world areas, parents and offspring overwhelmingly choose different partners. Parents and offspring disagreed over fitness‐relevant traits of the potential spouse, and both parties sometimes used extreme methods to influence outcomes. These findings suggest that arranged marriages may be useful for studying the effects of mate choice in humans and for assessing the unique dynamics of human mating systems. [parent–offspring conflict, mate choice, cross‐cultural]

Norm violations and punishments across human societies

“…Spouses face numerous conflicts of interest which can continually threaten marriage stability and impact family economic and social strategies (78,79). Arranged marriages are also common across human societies (80,81), which often include disagreements between parents and offspring over their ideal marriage partners, further threatening family stability. In small-scale societies in particular, nuclear families, or reproductive units, often form the foundation of larger modular social structures (18,82).…”

Modernization, collectivism, and gender equality predict love experiences in 45 countries

“…Many studies have attempted to describe the phenomenon of love. However, only a limited number of scholars have explored love feelings and experiences from a cross-cultural perspective (for notable exceptions, see, e.g., [1][2][3][4] ). Even fewer scholars have focused on the observed differences in love levels across cultures (see, e.g., [5][6][7] ).…”

The importance of physical attractiveness and ambition/intelligence to the mate choices of women and their parents.

“…Even in contemporary Western cultures, parents may attempt to influence or manipulate their children's mate choices, especially when they find a potential mate unsuitable (Apostolou, 2020). Females of nonhuman species make their own mate choices, therefore parents’ attempt to control women's mate choices appears to be uniquely human (Agey et al, 2021; Apostolou, 2020). Parental influence over women's mate choices may have had a significant influence on human evolution, especially when women and their parents have different priorities.…”

“…Although women and their parents disagree more about the importance of physical attractiveness versus other traits (Apostolou, 2015; Fugère, Doucette, et al, 2017), this trait is often ranked as very unimportant by both women and their parents. However, if women and their parents have priorities that are different enough, we may see that daughters and parents will choose different partners as the best mate for themselves versus for their daughters (see Agey et al, 2021; Apostolou, 2011). It is very important to study parent/child conflict over mate preferences because both offspring and parents prefer potential partners who are acceptable to one another (Apostolou, 2009) and because parental approval of offspring's mates is associated with better relationship outcomes (Sinclair et al, 2014).…”