Challenging Unequal Gendered Conventions in Heterosexual Relationship Contexts through Affective Dissonance

Abstract

Provide short biographical notes on all contributors here if the journal requires them.Raisa Jurva is a doctoral researcher in gender studies at the University of Tampere, Finland. She is also part of the research team on the Academy of Finland-funded research project Just the two of us? Affective inequalities in intimate relationships (project 287983). Her research interests include entanglements of power and affect in intimate relationships, feminist theories and methodologies, and life course perspectives on gender. She is interested in the ways in which gendered conventions frame the lived experiences of couple relationships, and how those conventions are challenged both institutionally and individually in everyday life. She has published on discourses of heterosexuality in sex education materials, men's experiences of prostate cancer treatment, and female complaint as an expression of gender inequality.Annukka Lahti is a postdoctoral researcher in gender studies at the University of Jyväskylä, Finland. She is also part of the research team on the Academy of Finland-funded research project Just the two of us?Affective inequalities in intimate relationships (project 287983). She is interested in the affective shaping of inequalities both between and within relationships, as well as in the ways in which those inequalities must be renegotiated by the people engaged in the relationships. Her doctoral research focused on how the notion of bisexuality fits into cultural understandings of couple relationships and the affective effects of this. She has previously published in Feminism & Psychology and Subjectivity. Her postdoctoral research project focuses on the separation experiences of LGBTIQ people. Challenging unequal gendered conventions in heterosexual relationship contexts through affective dissonance

“F*** this shit” - Negotiating the Boundaries of Public Expression of Mother’s Negative Feelings

“…to challenge the rules and norms determining suitable feelings for mothers. However, our analysis has also shown how difficult it is to challenge these norms (see also Jurva & Lahti, 2019). Much of the discussion welcoming the more open sharing of the difficulties mothers face was made from a certain emotional distance, as commenters recognized the risk of being labelled bad mothers.…”

“…The protection of children overruled the need for more open discourse around the maternal, and closed down the political potential of complaint. These commenters accepted negative feelings, even in extreme modes, but enforced the common strategies whereby women push down their pain "for the sake of the children's happiness" and explain the inequalities of nuclear family life by referring to the cultural script of "the way things are" (Jurva & Lahti, 2019;Shields Dobson & Kanai, 2019;Sihto, Lahti, Elmgren, & Jurva, 2018).…”

Affective obligations and obliged affections

“…Although socially embedded, intimacy is not just about the social and its tendency to create intimacies in its own image. It also involves reflexive practices, active constructions, negotiations and compromises, and an active present and 'future building' of intimate worlds (Holmes, Jamieson and Natalier, 2021; see also Berlant and Warner, 1998;Seymour, 1999;Jurva and Lahti, 2019). It is constituted through relational practices that build and make up the feelings and experiences of close relationships and a specific affective atmosphere based on feelings of mutual love and of being special to one another (Jamieson, 2011).…”

Postfeminist Versions of Equality? An Analysis of Relationship and Sex Counseling Practices in Finland

“…Those whose relationships are less conventional also use similar strategies. Jurva and Lahti (2019) explore unconventional relationships in Finland, such as older women’s relationships with younger men, and bisexual women’s relationships. They stress that their interviewees, too, locate inequality in other people’s relationships or explain unequal situations as the result of individual differences.…”

“…Keywords: counseling and therapy; gender equality; postfeminism; relationship advice; sexual rights N ordic countries, such as, Finland rank highly in international equality measurements and are often considered exceptionally democratic. Nevertheless, it has proved more challenging in these countries to tackle gender equality in the realm of the intimate than in sites, such as education, work, or politics (e.g., Jokinen 2004;Jurva and Lahti 2019;Kolehmainen and Juvonen 2018;Magnusson 2008). Although consensus prevails in Finland regarding the importance of gender equality, there is no consensus on what this equality should actually look like.…”