This article draws on comparative research involving an exploratory and retrospective survey of 498 students in China and 481 in England and follow‐up interviews, focusing on their experiences of physical punishment and disciplinary behaviour from mothers and fathers ‘while growing up’, including how they felt about their experiences and views concerning what might be perceived as ‘acceptable’ or ‘unacceptable’ punishments. The emphasis is on the Chinese findings, although the English findings are referred to for comparison and debate. As children, the Chinese students who were surveyed experienced similar types and levels of punishment, although with significant gendered differences echoing traditional Chinese perceptions of ‘passive’ female and ‘active’ male. In a similar vein, there also appeared to be greater expectations in relation to educational achievement for boys in China. While most of the Chinese respondents thought the use of physical punishment acceptable for disciplining children, there were indications that this was being questioned and that some wanted change. The UK students, compared to the Chinese, reported lower levels of physical punishment, although the use of punishment to curtail boys' behaviour was in some respects similar. Use of physical punishment was deemed less acceptable by the UK respondents. Copyright. © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.