Child Sexual Abuse Survivors’ Grief Experiences After the Death of the Abuser

Abstract

This qualitative study examined the language of women who were child sexual abuse survivors ( N = 16) to gain insight into their grief experiences following the death of their abusers. Participants ranged in age from 22 to 62 years ( M = 47.4) and the majority were White, had been abused by a family member, and had sought child sexual abuse-related counseling. Five primary themes emerged during analysis: (a) grief reflecting a complex relationship; (b) loss of opportunity for confrontation, clarity, and connection; (c) funeral as liability, not benefit; (d) others’ lack of understanding of multilayered grief; and (e) coping through transformation. Discussion illuminates sense-making and connections between themes and existing thanatological concepts and research.

“I Love and Hate Him in the Same Breath”: Relationships of Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse With Their Perpetrating Siblings

“…Despite the long duration and often lifetime implications of SSA, relationships between adult siblings involved in SSA as children have rarely been studied. According to the broader literature on survivors of intrafamilial sexual abuse, the abusive relationship sometimes continues well into adulthood (Eisikovits, Tener, & Lev-Wiesel, 2017; Lin, 2010; Middelton, 2013; Welfare, 2010). In other cases, a virtual relationship is maintained without daily contact but with continued vivid presence of the perpetrator in the survivor’s experience (Dahan, 2007; Eisikovits et al, 2017).…”

Adult women survivors of intrafamilial child sexual abuse and their current relationship with the abuser.

“…Because of this secrecy, the reality of the abuse is shared only with the perpetrator. Thus, the survivor remains psychologically bonded to the perpetrator and may feel that the perpetrator is the only person who knows the “real her” (Cloitre, Cohen, & Koenen, 2011; Lin, 2010).…”

“…The common assumption on the ambivalent relationships between perpetrator and IFCSA survivor (Monahan, 2003) is apparent in Lin's (2010) study of the grief experience of child sexual abuse survivors after the death of the abuser. The study participants reported a love-hate paradoxical relationship with the abuser prior to his death; conflicting emotions related to his death included relief, sadness, shock, numbness, love and anger, and a desire for reconciliation or a healthier relationship.…”