Coming out ‘softly’

Abstract

Given the social stigmatisation and legal disadvantages faced by gay men in Singapore, there is a general hesitance to be open about one’s gay identity for fear of discrimination and possible prosecution. The logic of illiberal pragmatism is taken up by the Singaporean government as a mode of governance that simultaneously constrains and frees its citizens, which forces its gay citizens to straddle the expression of their sexual identity and a sense of duty to their families. This same tension is found in gay men’s reflections on the coming out process. In ethnographic interviews conducted with 15 Singaporean gay men, concerns arise about the perceived strength and directness of coming out alongside the need to satisfy familial obligations. In response to these concerns, gay Singaporeans have adopted a ‘soft’ approach to coming out that aligns with national illiberal pragmatism. Di Singapura, ada ramai yang rasa curiga untuk menyebarluaskan identiti gay mereka kerana takut dikejam dan didakwa. Ini diakibatkan penindasan dalam masyarakat dan kekurangan perlindungan dari segi hukum yang dihadapi oleh golongan gay. Pemerintah Singapura menggunakan logik pragmatisme yang tidak liberal (‘illiberal pragmatism’) sebagai alat pemerintahan yang saling mengekang dan membebas warganya. Penggunaan logik ini memaksa warga negara gaynya untuk memilih antara menyebarluaskan orientasi seksual mereka atau memenuhi kewajiban keluarga. Pilihan sukar ini sering dibentangkan oleh lelaki-lelaki gay dalam renungan mereka tentang proses melela (‘coming out’). Dalam wawancara etnografi dengan 15 lelaki gay Singapura, kebimbangan mengenai keberkesanan proses melela dan tekanan memenuhi tanggungjawab keluarga kerap timbul. Sebagai pembalasan terhadap kebingungan tersebut, warga negara gay Singapura melela menggunakan cetak biru yang ‘lembut’ dan selaras dengan logik pragmatisme Singapura.

Do “Chinese gays” come out?

“…In particular, Wong's (2016) analysis of ellipsis, circumlocutions and deixis used in Hong Kong SGA females' discussions of sexual orientation, perceptively suggests that such linguistic forms reproduce heteronormative assumptions that same-sex desire should not be publicly acknowledged. Also, Pak (2021) insightfully links powerful state narratives, discrimination and potential prosecution in Singapore to a general hesitance and a prominence of soft approaches to queer visibility. Specifically, he (Pak 2021: 318) investigates how some SGA men there achieve their "personal communicative goals" without contradicting "national pro-family ideology".…”

News media coverage of LGBT identities over 10 years in a 400-million-word corpus

“…Within a culturally conservative Southeast Asia, political and social stressors affect LGBT individuals more than cisgender or heterosexual people: a systematic review of quantitative studies about LGBT Southeast Asians indicate a higher prevalence of mental health difficulties [ 13 ], and suicidal ideation in non-heterosexual Singaporean men [ 14 ]. Ethnographic interviews with gay Singaporean men revealing hesitance to ‘come out’ as gay due to fear of prosecution and discrimination [ 15 ]; and ambivalence at occupying societal marginality [ 16 ].…”

‘Smash this sissy boy’s mouth, Cuiguo!’: Framing and humor in gay Taiwanese YouTubers’ self-disclosures about being bullied

“…Although the predominance of heteronormative discourses has been gradually weakening due to ‘an increasing visibility and perceived legitimacy of same-sex sexualities’ after the 1969 Stonewall Riots (Motschenbacher, 2020: 66), gay men still face challenges, particularly in patriarchal Asian societies. Gay men in Singapore, for example, are forced to communicate their sexual identity ‘softly’ because of the illiberal pragmatism in the country (Pak, 2021). In Taiwan, toxic masculinity still exists in the society, as a man’s lack of masculinity can be seen as ‘funny’ on television (Chen, 2018, 2022).…”