This article examines human papillomavirus (HPV) selfsampling as an approach to cervical cancer prevention and the ways self-sampling kits are promoted directly to consumers in the United States. Public health, biomedicine and health tech have increasingly imagined self-sampling, which allows individuals to collect their own vaginal specimen, mail to a laboratory for testing and receive delivered results, as a component of cervical cancer prevention and sexual health promotion. This article examines the scientific and biomedical claims used to configure the problem in need of this solution and the ways persons, publics and markets are established. We analyse scientific literature, interviews with clinicians and other key actors, and websites of directly to consumers (DTC) companies. HPV self-sampling is constructed as both a solution to inequities and gaps in cervical cancer screening and a solution to the wants and needs of those already engaged in self-projects of body monitoring and risk reduction. These multidirectional biomedical tendencies also reveal how sexuality and sexual health and cervical cancer prevention and sexual health promotion are entangled objects. While we do not want to undermine the potential of HPV self-sampling, we encourage a focus on equity and care and not commodified markets that reinforce notions of 'good' patients monitoring their health.