The vast array of interconnected microorganisms across Earth’s ecosystems and within holobionts has been called the “Internet of Microbes.” Bacteria and archaea are masters of energy and information collection, storage, transformation, and dissemination using both “wired” and wireless (at a distance) functions. Specific tools affecting microbial energy and information functions offer effective strategies for managing microbial populations within, between, and beyond holobionts. This narrative review focuses on microbial management using a subset of physical modifiers of microbes: sound and light (as well as related vibrations). These are examined as follows: (1) as tools for managing microbial populations, (2) as tools to support new technologies, (3) as tools for healing humans and other holobionts, and (4) as potential safety dangers for microbial populations and their holobionts. Given microbial sensitivity to sound, light, and vibrations, it is critical that we assign a higher priority to the effects of these physical factors on microbial populations and microbe-laden holobionts. We conclude that specific sound, light, and/or vibrational conditions are significant therapeutic tools that can help support useful microbial populations and help to address the ongoing challenges of holobiont disease. We also caution that inappropriate sound, light, and/or vibration exposure can represent significant hazards that require greater recognition.