Comparing Romantic Partners' Perceptions of Hurtful Communication During Conflict Conversations

Using Difference Scores to Inform Therapy Practice: Differences in Perceptions of Attachment Behaviors between Partners in a Clinical Sample

“…Perhaps, the very act of comparing one's attributes or behaviors in the relationship creates a perceived difference or a feeling that the other is not up‐to‐par with their effort in the relationship—and this is associated with feeling that their partner is not as supportive or positive during communication. These ideas support those of previous research (Rehman & Holtzworth‐Munroe, ; Young et al., ), yet adds the delineation of differences in attachment behaviors and perceptions of partner communication.…”

“…Research has found that communication is an important variable to include, and relevant to this study there are established associations between both attachment and communication patterns (Feeney, ; Fournier, Brassard, & Shaver, ) and marital outcomes and communication patterns (Holman, ). A number of studies have suggested that how an individual perceives a partner's communication, and differences in those perceptions among partners, influence martial interaction and feelings about the relationship (Rehman & Holtzworth‐Munroe, ; Young, Bippus, & Dunbar, ) and can mediate the association between marital stressors and marital quality (Carroll, Hill, Yorgason, Larson, & Sandberg, ). As such, it is plausible that differences in one's emotional accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement could lead to poorer relational health through seeing a partner's communication as less positive.…”

When only one of us thinks the discussion went well: How positive illusions impact relationship satisfaction following disagreements

“…Indeed, perceptions of the conflict interaction can be biased in multiple ways. For example, even when couples are satisfied with their relationship overall, individuals retrospectively perceive their partners as having made more hurtful comments during a conflict than the individual remembers themselves making, and memories of the partners thoughts and feelings during conflict tend to be inaccurate (Feeney & Hill, 2006;Young et al, 2015). In other words, in some cases people remember their partner's behaviour during conflict as more negative than what might have actually occurred.…”