Couple therapy: An integration of object relations and intersubjective theory

Abstract

In this paper, a detailed clinical example of a couple therapy highlights how the integration of object relational and intersubjective theory is beneficial for the growth of the couple system. Theory based on Benjamin's (1992) formulation of "where objects were, subjects must be" (p. 44) frame the intersubjective treatment techniques reported here. In addition, a case example demonstrates how a couple began to manage the difficult challenge of maintaining autonomy (individuality) while being emotionally connected in the relationship. The paper demonstrates how projective identification patterns in the couple system give way to mutuality for the individuals in the partnership.In this paper, I explore how intersubjective theory can be utilized to inform couple therapy. In describing the beginning change process of a couple who are engaged in long-term couple therapy, I demonstrate how intersubjective theory complements treatment techniques based upon object relations theory. While intersubjective theory is most often discussed in reference to individual psychotherapy and/or psychoanalysis, I demonstrate that the principles of intersubjectivity can be readily applied to the interaction of a dyad involved in an ongoing, intimate relationship. More specifically, I demonstrate how Benjamin's (1988Benjamin's ( , 1992Benjamin's ( , 1995Benjamin's ( , 1998) key concepts can be utilized to understand aspects of interaction between intimate partners. This paper will integrate aspects of a model of object relational couple therapy with the proposed model of intervention based on intersubjective theory. In essence, the paper will elaborate * Dennis Miehls, Ph.D., C.S.W., is an Associate Professor at the School of Social Work, King's College, University of Western Ontario, London, Ontario. He is also a member of the Adjunct Faculty at Smith College School of Social Work, and has a clinical practice in London, Ontario. Smith College Studies in SocialWork, 69(2), March 1999. Downloaded by [Chulalongkorn University] at 05:49 26 December 2014 336 DENNIS MIEHLSBenjamin's often-quoted phrase which frames the tension (difference) between intrapsychic experience and intersubjective experience. The context of Benjamin's (1992) phrase "where objects were, subjects must be" (p. 44) will be elaborated and illustrated through a detailed report on two therapeutic interviews with a marital couple. THEORETICAL CONCEPTS IntersubjectivityIn recognizing the breadth of concepts which underscore the theory of intersubjectivity, Aron (1996) acknowledges that there is no specific or unitary definition of intersubjectivity to be found in the literature. A convergence of ideas which can be broadly labelled relational models (Mitchell, 1988) form the meta-perspective of intersubjectivity. Relational models of psychotherapy underscore that an individual cannot develop a sense of self in isolation; rather, these theories affirm the necessity of recognizing the "other" in assigning meaning to one's experiences.

High‐conflict divorced couples: combining systemic and psychodynamic perspectives

“…The individual's aggression becomes a source of anxiety that must be disposed of by projection onto the frightening object. It creates a cycle of destroying the reality of the Combined therapies for high-conflict divorced couples other and filling the void with a feared and denigrated object; one who must be controlled for fear of retaliation (Benjamin 1995;Miehls, 1999;Winnicott, 1968Winnicott, , 1975b.…”

Surrender as a Developmental Achievement in Couple Systems

“…In Benjamin's language, this implies the ability to hold the tension between being autonomous and being emotionally connected to another. Miehls (1999) utilized Benjamin's ideas of "subject" and "object" to further some couple therapy interventions that synthesized object relations theory with intersubjective theory. Miehls (1999) states, "Assisting individuals in perceiving one another as mutual subjects, rather than as objects to be used to complement internal psychic structures, is an important process that furthers individual growth" (p. 341).…”

“…Miehls (1999) utilized Benjamin's ideas of "subject" and "object" to further some couple therapy interventions that synthesized object relations theory with intersubjective theory. Miehls (1999) states, "Assisting individuals in perceiving one another as mutual subjects, rather than as objects to be used to complement internal psychic structures, is an important process that furthers individual growth" (p. 341). In terms of the process of surrender, individuals need to move out of stuck defensive positions of complementary dynamics (e.g., "I am either a sadist or a masochist") to allow oneself the freedom to experience the benefits of vulnerability with the other.…”