Human sexuality textbooks, like most social and health sciences products, are notoriously limited in their inclusion of queer, trans, and intersex people. While well‐intentioned faculty (like the first author) do their best to address these limitations, sometimes it isn't enough. Sometimes our texts, and we, cause harm. This paper describes two phases of a participatory action research (PAR) project involving queer, trans, and intersex students and a queer, nonbinary faculty member that intended to address harm tied to a course text, support student empowerment, and move toward action to improve unjust textbook representation. Through first‐person reflective storytelling, we, the faculty member and one student member of the research team, share our approach to “working with poison,” including strategies for infusing trauma‐informed practices into our PAR approach. We reflect on the pain of doing this work, and the ways our approach succeeded and failed. We end with recommendations for individuals, publishers, and institutions looking to minimize harm and promote justice in higher education curriculum.