Generalised eruptive histiocytosis is a rare proliferative disease that typically presents with indolent cutaneous eruptions. We describe the case of a 73-year-old man presenting with diffuse, asymptomatic crops of pink to dusky red papules preceded by general malaise, myalgias, fluctuating fever, chills, and weight loss. Histological evaluation revealed a non-Langerhans cell histiocytic dermal infiltrate with spindle cell features and chronic inflammation, reactive for CD68 and negative for both S100 and CD1a. Malignancy screening was negative. This report aims to highlight a unique presentation of generalised eruptive histiocytosis, emphasise histological findings, and discuss considerations for malignancy screening.