A portable sweat urea sensing system is a promising solution to satisfy the booming requirement of kidney function tele‐monitoring. However, the complicated manufacturing route and the cumbersome electrochemical testing system still need to be improved to develop the urea point‐of‐care testing (POCT) and tele‐monitoring devices. Here, a universal technical route based on a high‐throughput automatic laser printing strategy for fabricating the portable integrated urea monitoring system is proposed. This integrated system includes a high‐performance laser‐printed urea sensing electrode, a planar three‐electrode system, and a self‐developed wireless mini‐electrochemical workstation. A precursor donor layer is activated by laser scribing and in situ transferred into functional nanoparticles for the drop‐on‐demand printing of the urea sensing electrode. The obtained electrodes show high sensitivity, low detection limit, fast response time, high selectivity, good average recovery, and long‐term stability for urea sensing. Additionally, a laser‐induced graphene circuit‐based miniature planar three‐electrode system and a wireless mini‐electrochemical workstation are designed for sensing data collection and transmitting, achieving real‐time urea POCT and tele‐monitoring. This scalable method provides a universal solution for high‐throughput and ultra‐fast fabrication of urea‐sensing electrodes. The portable integrated urea monitoring system is a competitive option to achieve cost‐effective POCT and tele‐monitoring for kidney function.