This article presents a staggered approach to couple the interaction of very flexible tension structures with large deformations, described with the finite element method (FEM), and objects undergoing large, complex, and arbitrary motions discretized with particle methods, in this case the discrete element method (DEM). The quantitative solution quality and convergence rate of this partitioned approach is highly time step dependent. Thus, the strong coupling approach is presented here, where the convergence is achieved in an iterative manner within each time step. This approach helps increase the time step size significantly, decreases the overall computational costs, and improves the numerical stability. Moreover, the proposed algorithm enables the application of two independent, standalone codes for simulating DEM and structural FEM as blackbox solvers. Systematic evaluations of the newly proposed iterative coupling scheme with respect to accuracy, robustness, and efficiency as well as cross comparisons between strong and weak FEM-DEM coupling approaches are performed. Additionally, the approach is validated against the rest position of an impacting object, and further examples with objects impacting highly flexible protection structures are presented. Here, the protection nets are described with nonlinear structural finite elements and the impacting objects as DEM elements. To allow the interested reader to independently reproduce the results, detailed code and algorithm descriptions are included in the appendix.