This article examines telephone dialogues in English as a second language (ESL) textbooks against the backdrop of what is reported about real telephone interaction in conversation analysis research. An analysis of eight textbooks reveals that the fit between what conversation analysts say about natural telephone conversation and the examples found in textbooks is unsatisfactory. Elements such as summon-answer, identification, greeting, and how-are-you sequences, often found in naturally occurring telephone exchanges, are absent, incomplete, or problematic in the textbook dialogues. The article argues that as the focus in language pedagogy increasingly turns toward the development of teaching materials informed by studies in discourse analysis, it may be important for materials writers and language teachers to pay attention to interconnections between language (or talk), sequence structure, and social action. The juxtaposition of natural telephone conversation with textbook "conversation" displays the tension between linguistic competence and linguistic performance, between understanding language as process and language as product.