Don’t Get Your Hopes Up

Abstract

We examine whether lower expectations for social reward selectively applied to high intimacy contexts may help avoidantly attached individuals minimize distress from reward loss. Studies 1, 2, and 4 demonstrated that avoidant attachment was negatively associated with perceived intimacy potential in relationships involving approach of closeness (current/future partners), but not for relationships less associated with approach of closeness (ex-partners). Studies 3 and 5 manipulated the potential for intimacy among dating prospects. Avoidant attachment was negatively associated with romantic interest in high intimacy targets but not low intimacy targets. This effect was mediated by perceived responsiveness. Studies 4 and 5 rule out perceived dissimilarity to responsive targets as a mechanism. Study 6 demonstrated that avoidants' lower expectations for connection are associated with less anticipated distress from reward loss. These results suggest that avoidant individuals may circumvent attachment system activation by perceiving lower opportunity for connection when there is potential for intimacy.

The independent contributions of social reward and threat perceptions to romantic commitment.

“…Overall, then, we suggest that to best understand the factors that influence commitment in romantic relationships, social threat and reward need to be directly accounted for as having independent influences on commitment processes. Although commitment has not been studied in this context, the few studies that have examined the influence of social threat and reward simultaneously on relationship outcomes provide support for the notion that reward is a significant motivator in relationships over and above threat (Lewandowski & Ackerman, 2006;Spielmann et al, 2012;Spielmann, Maxwell, MacDonald, & Baratta, 2013). For example, Lewandowski and Ackerman (2006) showed that a perceived lack of opportunities for self-expansion was a risk factor for infidelity over and above feelings of security.…”

“…Individuals who are relatively high on the dimension of attachment anxiety experience chronic activation of the attachment system, thus motivating chronic pursuit of reassurance (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007). They have been shown to appraise ambiguous information as threatening and tend to exaggerate the meaning and importance of potentially threatening behaviors from their partner (Alexander, Feeney, Hohaus, & Noller, 2001;Cassidy & Kobak, 1988;Spielmann, Maxwell, et al, 2013). They are also quick to detect any sign of potential social threat (Ein-Dor, Mikulincer, & Shaver, 2011).…”

“…At the same time, anxiously attached individuals are highly dependent on their relationships and try to relieve their distress by seeking comfort from a romantic partner (Feeney & Noller, 1990). We expected that given their strong concerns over negative evaluation and rejection, individuals high in attachment anxiety would also report stronger perceptions of social threat (Spielmann, Maxwell, et al, 2013).…”

Attachment Insecurity and Daily Relationship Threats as Obstacles to Relational Self-Expansion

“…Given the interdependent nature of intimate relationships, there are a myriad of instances when people may perceive threats to their relationships-each of which may fluctuate from day-to-day. Past research has conceptualized the experience of relationship threats in a number of ways, including: perceived regard (Cavallo, Fitzsimons, & Holmes, 2009;Derrick, Leonard, & Homish, 2012;Overall & Sibley, 2009), perceived rejection (Downey, Freitas, Michaelis, & Khouri, 1998;Norona & Welsh, 2016), perceived threats of negative evaluation (Spielmann, MacDonald, & Tackett, 2012;Spielmann, Maxwell, MacDonald, & Baratta, 2012), responsiveness to needs (Feeney & Lemay, 2012;Kane et al, 2007;Laurenceau, Barrett, & Rovine, 2005;Reis, 2014), and perceived availability of support (Fivecoat, Tomlinson, Aron, & Caprariello, 2015;Kane et al, 2007). It is important to understand how state-based relationship threats are innately related as they may cause feelings of doubt and uncertainty about one's relationship, which can be experienced at any time (and may never truly disappear), and also have the potential to cause detrimental experiences within the relationship (Baxter & Montgomery, 1996;Honeycutt, 1993;Planalp & Honeycutt, 1985;Planalp, Rutherford, & Honeycutt, 1988).…”

“…Similarly, avoidant individuals are more likely to make sacrifices (i.e., a pro-relational behaviour) for avoidant motives (i.e., to avoid negative outcomes) than they are to make sacrifices for approach motives (i.e., to add positive outcomes; Mattingly & Clark, 2012). People with avoidant attachment styles also tend to have low hopes for the future in order to circumvent the activation of the attachment system (Spielmann, Maxwell, MacDonald, & Baratta, 2012). In particular, when people with higher attachment avoidance perceive greater potential for intimacy in their relationships and they set lower expectations for connection (i.e., a social reward).…”