The functionally graded (FG) flexoelectric material is a potential material to determine the structural morphing of aircrafts. This work proposes the penalty 20-node element based on the consistent couple stress theory for analyzing the FG flexoelectric plate and shell structures with complex geometric shapes and loading conditions. Several numerical examples are examined and prove that the new element can predict the size-dependent behaviors of FG flexoelectric plate and shell structures effectively, showing good convergence and robustness. Moreover, the numerical results reveal that FG flexoelectric material exhibits better bending performance and higher flexoelectric effect compared to homogeneous materials. Moreover, the increase in the material length scale parameter leads to a gradual increase in the natural frequencies of the out-of-plane modes of FG flexoelectric plate/shell, while the natural frequencies of the in-plane modes change minimally, resulting in the occurrence of mode-switching phenomena.