En route to a harmony of being: Viewing aloneness as a need in development and child analytic work.

Abstract

The construct aloneness, proposed as a basic-level human need, parallel to and of the same valency as attachment, is viewed in the process of development over the life span. We suggest that focus on attachment and object relations has kept the regulatory function of detachment, and thus aloneness, in partial eclipse. Borrowing from the discourse of psycholinguistics, aloneness is viewed as the unmarked member of a pair of antonyms, aloneness/loneliness, rather than as the marked member of the pair, attached/alone. The contributions of psychoanalysts across models and infant researchers are recalled in the service of tracing the presence of an aloneness need. We offer examples from psychoanalytic child treatments to illustrate the juxtaposition of aloneness and attachment in analytic discourse at successive developmental stages.

Development and validation of an experience of time alone scale for borderline personality disorder

“…A further significance of Study 1 is that participants described actually craving time alone, an aspect that is missing from many accounts of aloneness in BPD. This positive experience was not due to feelings of contentment and peace when alone, but rather, because of the relief experienced when escaping the demands of relating, supporting the idea that alone time can be conceptualized as a need [75, 76]. Together, the positive and negative experiences of time alone can be understood as consistent with Dazzi’s [8] view that both intolerance of aloneness and intolerance of relating are pivotal in BPD.…”

Embracing me-time: Motivation for solitude during transition to college

“…Solitary time plays a potentially important role in adolescents' psychosocial adjustment, particularly during the process of identity formation. Solitary time affords young people the opportunity to explore interests and pursue goals without supervision from their parents or social pressures from their peers (Ammanity, Ecolani, & Tambelli, 1989;Buchholz, 1997;Buchholz & Chinlund, 1994;Buchholz & Catton, 1999). Thus, solitary time can be used to detach from societal pressures and get back in touch with one's own personal values and interests.…”

Knowing Who You Are for Not Feeling Lonely? A Longitudinal Study on Identity and Loneliness

“…Different theoretical perspectives have studied the meaning of loneliness in adolescence. In the psychodynamic paradigm, we are thought to be born with both the need to be alone and the need to be connected with others (Buchholz & Chinlund, ). For adolescents, who concentrate on identity formation, aloneness may be especially important, because the time on their own can be used for important identity work (Goossens & Marcoen, ).…”