Eusociality, where units that previously reproduced independently function as one entity, is of major interest in evolutionary biology. Obligate eusociality is characterised by morphologically differentiated castes and reduced conflict. We explore conditions under which morphological castes may arise in the Hymenoptera and factors constraining their evolution. Control over offspring morphology and behaviour seem likely to be decoupled. Provisioners (queens and workers) can influence offspring morphology directly through the nutrition they provide, while adult offspring control their own behaviour. Provisioners may, however, influence worker behaviour indirectly if offspring modify their behaviour in response to their morphology. If manipulation underlies helping, we should not see helping evolve before specialised worker morphology, yet empirical observations suggest that behavioural castes precede morphological castes. We use evolutionary invasion analyses to show how the evolution of a morphologically differentiated worker caste depends on the prior presence of a behavioural caste: specialist worker morphology will be mismatched with behaviour unless some offspring already choose to work. A mother’s certainty about her offspring’s behaviour is also critical – less certainty results in greater mismatch. We show how baseline worker productivity can affect the likelihood of a morphological trait being favoured by natural selection. We then show how under a decoupled control scenario, morphologically differentiated castes should be less and less likely to be lost as they become more specialised. We also suggest that for eusociality to be evolutionarily irreversible, workers must be unable to functionally replace reproductives and reproductives must be unable to reproduce without help from workers.