Experiences of romantic relationships among early adults who do not turn to their long‐term partner when in need of love and support

Abstract

As most early adults in long‐term romantic relationships rely on their partner to fulfill their relational needs, relationships with romantic partners are very important to many people at this time of life. However, there is a group of individuals for whom their long‐term partner is not the most important person when they need love and support. This study explored experiences of romantic relationships among early adults who do not turn to their long‐term partner to meet these needs. Twelve individuals in early adulthood (Mage = 33.3 years; SD = 0.54) were selected from a larger community sample (N = 124) based on their answers on a questionnaire about who they turn to when in need of love and support. A thematic analysis of their answers in interviews about romantic relationships resulted in three main themes: Distancing attitudes toward romantic relationships, Desirable aspects of romantic relationships, and Not thinking about romantic relationships. The results show that these early adults' reflections on romantic relationships were characterized by ambivalence, striving toward independence, and relating to their partner as a person to have fun with rather than someone to share a deep connection with. Participants also expressed disagreement with what they perceived as norms concerning romantic relationships. Taken together, this study illustrates that the experiences of early adults who do not turn to their long‐term partner to meet needs of love and support are characterized by a complex interaction between contradictory feelings, values, and behaviors.