Exploration of Emerging Adult Virgins’ Difficulties

Abstract

Social clock theory posits that off-time transitions, such as virginity loss, are often socially reproached and stigmatized. Research suggests, however, that reasons for virginity in adulthood are heterogeneous and that some emerging adult virgins (EAVs) are struggling socially. To guide the development of interventions tailored to this population, it is important to understand their difficulties. Through individual semi-structured interviews, this study explores the difficulties and disagreeable emotions experienced by 29 heterosexual virgins aged between 20 and 29. The data were analyzed using thematic analysis. Three main themes were identified: (a) difficulties related to society, (b) difficulties related to interpersonal relationships, and (c) disagreeable emotions experienced relative to late virginity. These results reveal that difficulties expressed by EAVs are intertwined and surprisingly, the most salient difficulty was related to lack of intimacy, rather than virginity per se. Theoretical and clinical implications are discussed, along with recommendations for future research.

“Even though I’m not an incel, I’m still an involuntary celibate”: A journey in and out of inceldom.

“…Adult virginity is associated with negative emotions, including sadness and fear (Leroux & Boislard, 2023). Sexuality is among the most symbolically important distinctions between people in Western societies, and unsuccessful men are subordinated according to hegemonic norms, e.g., virgin shaming (Connell, 2000;Fleming & Davis, 2018).…”

“…(P7) Some also reported adversity through bullying, neglect, and abuse (P7, P9), and all worried about falling behind peers sexually. Virginity as a gateway into manhood and rite of passage is a popular narrative among young men(Leroux & Boislard, 2023), and their inability to lose it marked them as failures. P8 had the youngest entry point, joining Italian "At first, I was curious, more than anything, but when I started to read more of that stuff, I became angry because I felt that a lot of the things were outside of my control and they were things that I couldn't influence or change."…”