Exploring the Benefits of Affectionate Communication: Implications for Interpersonal Acceptance–Rejection Theory

Abstract

In the past several decades, a robust line of research has developed in the field of communication exploring the interpersonal outcomes of receiving and giving affection. The present review offers an in‐depth examination of research on affectionate communication and its implications for understanding interpersonal acceptance and rejection. The review begins by introducing the primary theoretical framework used to explore affectionate communication, followed by an overview of the benefits of receiving and giving affection. Following this review, the implications of affectionate communication for acceptance–rejection researchers are presented, including a discussion of the complexities of affection and what such intricacies may mean for future theorizing in this domain. Lastly, future directions for acceptance–rejection research in light of this review are presented.

Dialing up desire and dampening disinterest: regulating sexual desire in the bedroom and sexual and relationship well-being

“…In situations when amplifying desire is simply meant to exaggerate desire, rather than conceal low desire, it might not detract from satisfaction. People also tend to feign sexual pleasure ( Muehlenhard & Shippee, 2010 ; Séguin et al, 2015 ) and use deceptive affection (e.g., Denes et al., 2017 ; Horan & Booth-Butterfield, 2013 ) to protect a partner’s feelings or promote their pleasure, so potential prosocial intentions tied to amplifying desire when desire is already relatively high may override harm to people’s relationships or sex lives.…”

“…In situations when amplifying desire is simply meant to exaggerate desire, rather than conceal low desire, it might not detract from satisfaction. People also tend to feign sexual pleasure (Muehlenhard & Shippee, 2010;Séguin et al, 2015) and use deceptive affection (e.g., Denes et al, 2017;Horan & Booth-Butterfield, 2013) to protect a partner's feelings or promote their pleasure, so potential prosocial intentions tied to amplifying desire when desire is already relatively high may override harm to people's relationships or sex lives. Interestingly, the opposite pattern emerged for suppression and a partner's relationship satisfaction: when people had low sexual desire for their partner, suppressing disinterest during sex was linked to a partner's higher relationship satisfaction.…”

“…For example, research finds that deceptive affection —expressing affection (e.g., fondness, warmth) to a partner that is incongruent with one’s actual feelings—is a common occurrence in romantic relationships (reported on average three times per week; Horan & Booth-Butterfield, 2013 ). People may amplify or suppress their affection for varying reasons (e.g., to maintain a relationship or hide negative feelings; Denes et al, 2017 ). Although people who recalled engaging in deceptive affection to a partner showed similar levels of physiological arousal and negative emotion (e.g., guilt) compared to those who recalled engaging in honest affection ( Horan & Booth-Butterfield, 2011 ), little work has assessed the relational outcomes of regulating affection expression (e.g., Bennett & Denes, 2019 ; Denes et al, 2017 ; Gillen & Horan, 2013 ) or how these links might extend to the regulation of sexual desire.…”

“…People may amplify or suppress their affection for varying reasons (e.g., to maintain a relationship or hide negative feelings; Denes et al, 2017). Although people who recalled engaging in deceptive affection to a partner showed similar levels of physiological arousal and negative emotion (e.g., guilt) compared to those who recalled engaging in honest affection (Horan & Booth-Butterfield, 2011), little work has assessed the relational outcomes of regulating affection expression (e.g., Denes et al, 2017;Gillen & Horan, 2013) or how these links might extend to the regulation of sexual desire.…”

“… 8 Research suggests that the effects of chronically regulating feelings may manifest more strongly over time (e.g., Denes et al., 2017 ; Gross & John, 2003 ). As such, we also examined associations among desire regulation during sex and relationship quality 3 months later.…”