Family rituals in postdivorce families: The role of family structure and relationship quality for parents' and stepparents' attendance at children's birthdays

Abstract

Objective: To investigate if divorced parents celebrate their children's birthdays with their respective ex-partner and current partner, and whether they do so "jointly" with both.
 Background: Family rituals like birthday celebrations are important and meaningful events in people's lives, but little is known about who partakes in these in contemporary postdivorce families.
 Method: We assessed whether divorced parents celebrated their child's birthday together with their ex-partner (i.e., the child’s other biological parent), current partner (i.e., the child’s stepparent), and jointly with both. Dutch Data (N=2,451) was analyzed using linear probability models.
 Results: Most parents celebrated the child's birthday without the ex-partner, but with the current partner. One quarter celebrated with both. The ex-partners' presence was more likely when parents' and their current partners' relationship with the ex-partner was good; and less likely when parents had repartnered and when the ex-partners had sole custody or additional biological or stepchildren. The presence of the current partner was more likely in case of coresidence with the biological parent and when the ex-partner had a new partner; and less likely when the ex-partners had sole custody and when parents’ relationship with the ex-partners was good.
 Conclusion: Child-related family rituals mostly involve the "new" stepparent rather than both biological parents. The effects of relationship quality, co-residence, repartnering, and having additional biological or stepchildren highlight the importance of (step)parents' willingness to interact with each other, structural opportunities for parent-child interactions, and parents’ shifting loyalties from their ex-partner to their new family.

More than two parents?

“…People with a new partner may therefore be reluctant to further complicate family relationships, translating into less favourable attitudes toward parental rights of stepparents. Most of the arguments above, however, predict higher support among partnered people; a prediction bolstered by studies suggesting that loyalties toward the new partner and family may be stronger than those toward the ex-partner and old family (Fang, Poortman & Van der Lippe, 2022;Manning & Smock, 2000).…”

“…Moreover, these differences in support are expected to be larger in case of higher conflict between former partners. Though research is limited, studies suggest that parents encourage greater involvement of the stepparent when the relationship between them and their ex-partner is poor (Fang, Poortman & Van der Lippe, 2022;Hornstra, Kalmijn & Ivanova, 2020). Because higher parental involvement by stepparents is argued to be associated with support for stepparents' rights and the expected differences between the different (step)family situations were often partly based on levels of stepparents' involvement, greater conflict between ex-partners may increase the effects of (step)family type on support.…”

Family life in postdivorce families

“…Regarding combinations of residence arrangements, stepfamilies in which the children's residence arrangements were asymmetrical -i.e., one of the children was resident and the other was nonresident -were considered less cohesive than those with symmetric residence arrangements or simple stepfamilies in which the child was resident. Taken together, these findings indicate that cohesion might be difficult to establish when parents and children do not share one household -for example, because there are not enough opportunities for structural engagement with the (step)child (e.g., by celebrating family rituals together) that can bolster cohesion (Fang et al, 2022).…”

“…Having a resident (step)child might offer the most favorable conditions for perceiving one's stepfamily as cohesive. As the child lives in the household, parents have regular and frequent opportunities to partake in shared family activities, such as shared family dinners, or for bonding and co-creating a meaningful relationship with the child (Cartwright, 2012;Fang et al, 2022). Such aspects of doing family can signal to all those involved that the shared experiences they are co-creating are congruent with what is expected of a cohesive family (Finch, 2007).…”

“…Lastly, besides considering which children the stepfamily comprises, we also consider where the different children live (i.e., children's residences). Coresidence might offer parents and children valuable opportunities for bonding and building cohesion (Fang et al, 2022), so stepfamilies with nonresident children might be considered less cohesive. In complex stepfamilies, it is not a given that the respective children's residence arrangements are the same: for example, the parent's biological child from their previous union might reside in the parental household, whereas the stepchild does not.…”