This paper describes a group treatment approach to helping parents of youth with Disruptive Behaviour Disorders. These youth have a significant negative and pervasive impact on their parents, who feel incompetent and guilty. Parents are helped to express their grief at their many losses in a safe, supportive and non-blaming group environment. They gain insight into the factors that make it difficult for them to set limits and they begin to change themselves rather than "fix" their child. Parent's hope and confidence grow as positive change becomes evident. As their sense of shame, guilt and fear lessen, parents are able to act more effectively with their youth and others. This paper delineates the clinical factors that contribute to parental effectiveness.