We describe a flexible and modular delayed-feedback nonlinear oscillator that is capable of generating a wide range of dynamical behaviours, from periodic oscillations to high-dimensional chaos. The oscillator uses electro-optic modulation and fibre-optic transmission, with feedback and filtering implemented through real-time digital signal processing. We consider two such oscillators that are coupled to one another, and we identify the conditions under which they will synchronize. By examining the rates of divergence or convergence between two coupled oscillators, we quantify the maximum Lyapunov exponents or transverse Lyapunov exponents of the system, and we present an experimental method to determine these rates that does not require a mathematical model of the system. Finally, we demonstrate a new adaptive control method that keeps two oscillators synchronized, even when the coupling between them is changing unpredictably.