In some self‐compatible species, self pollen tubes grow more slowly than outcross pollen, presumably leading to low selfing rates when mixtures of self and outcross pollen reach the stigma simultaneously. Here we show that the competitive ability of self pollen differed among individuals of Hibiscus moscheutos. Self pollen tubes grew slower than outcross pollen in three plants, faster than outcross pollen in four plants, and showed no difference in five other plants (based on rates of callose plug formation). Levels of inbreeding depression were examined by comparing progeny from self and outcross pollinations in seven maternal families. Self pollination led to reduced seed number in only one maternal family, and a slight decrease in seed size was seen in two maternal families. Considerable inbreeding depression occurred later in the life cycle, and the degree of inbreeding depression varied among maternal families of 6‐week‐old plants. Our results demonstrate the potential for unpredictable effects of pollen competition on individual selfing rates, which in turn may affect progeny vigor. This complex situation contrasts with previous reports of species in which outcross pollen consistently outcompetes self pollen (cryptic self‐incompatibility).