It is well known that experiences of extreme adversity strongly impact caregiving and family dynamics. In this study, we explore how caregiving is shaped by experiences of war and displacement among a community experiencing protracted, ongoing conflict and displacement, namely, Congolese Banyamulenge refugee families in Rwanda. The findings are based on six months of ethnographic team research with Banyamulenge refugee families living in semi-urban southern Rwanda. Among the caregivers, including people who arrived several years ago and others who have lived in Rwanda for over two decades, we found a strong longing for home and past cattle-herding life. We also found that caregivers emphasized the transmission of “survival tactics” as well as Banyamulenge identity and culture. We argue that these caregiving objectives and practices speak to the community’s experiences of material and existential losses in the past, as well as those anticipated in the unknown future. Second, parental caregiving efforts appear to lead to increased intergenerational dissonance, with children wishing to integrate into their host community. While this finding appears in line with much of the migration literature about intergenerational family relationships and conflict, we find that children’s orientation is not only informed by the host environment but also stems from a desire to relieve their parents’ suffering from loss and help them invest in more optimistic futures. Finally, while our findings suggest profound changes in social and cultural reproduction in the long term, we argue for caution, as ongoing changes in war dynamics in DR Congo may inform shifts in ideas on belonging among the children. The findings provide new insights for understanding how caregiving may be affected by war and displacement while effecting change in war-affected, displaced communities.