Forgiveness and the Dark Side of Intimate Relationships

Amer, Zahra; Lenger, Katherine A.; Brem, Meagan J.; Baucom, Donald H.; Snyder, Douglas K.

doi:10.4324/9781351123341-15

Cited by 16 publications

(7 citation statements)

References 1 publication

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“…Subsequent interactions between spouses provide opportunities for communication, explanations, compensation and prosocial actions (Worthington and Wade, 1999). Consequently, a positive image of the spouse, oneself and the marital relationship is maintained (Gordon et al, 2005). In the ABCM model of marital satisfaction (Hall, 2021), dispositional forgiveness may be understood as one of the resources aimed to establish relationship stability.…”

Section: Discussionmentioning

confidence: 99%

“…Marital interactions may be a source of considerable hurt and stress resulting from partners’ transgressions (Bell et al, 2018; McCullough et al, 1997). Not only do they cause individual and dyadic stress, but also disrupt the relationship (Fincham, 2000; Gordon et al, 2020). Partners might nurture their grudges, crave to take revenge or punishment against a spouse, and withdraw from the relationship (Fincham et al, 2006).…”

Section: Introductionmentioning

confidence: 99%

“…It might be defined as an offended person’s capacity to reframe perceived transgressions in such a way that their responses to offences and offenders cease to be negative and become neutral or positive (Thompson et al, 2005). Such personality-based ability and willingness may, in fact, act as an efficient strategy for dealing with threats to a positive image of a spouse and/or a marital relationship (Gordon et al, 2005). From the perspective of the ABCM theory, it might be an effective maintenance strategy that contributes to relationship satisfaction (Hall, 2021).…”

Section: Introductionmentioning

confidence: 99%

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Forgiveness in Marriage: From Incidents to Marital Satisfaction

Kaleta

Jaśkiewicz

2023

Journal of Family Issues

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Although marital forgiveness has been found to increase marital satisfaction, no research to date has examined the actual mechanism. This could derive from the ABCM model of marital satisfaction (Hall, 2021), in which disposition to forgive is understood as one of the marriage maintenance strategies contributing to spousal happiness. In two cross-sectional studies, we examined the association between marital forgiveness and satisfaction. We also tested a model in which dispositional forgiveness mediates the link between forgiveness of a particular marital incident and satisfaction with spousal relationship, moderated by transgression severity and apology. The Marital Offence-Specific Forgiveness Scale, the Heartland Forgiveness Scale and measures of marital satisfaction were used. Positive main effects between forgiveness and multidimensional marital satisfaction emerged. Moderated mediation revealed the mediation effect of dispositional forgiveness, which did not depend on the level of the moderators (severity and apology).

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Section: Discussionmentioning

confidence: 99%

Section: Introductionmentioning

confidence: 99%

Section: Introductionmentioning

confidence: 99%

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Forgiveness in Marriage: From Incidents to Marital Satisfaction

Kaleta

Jaśkiewicz

2023

Journal of Family Issues

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“…In previous decades, infidelity treatment was focused on working with couples and using forgiveness models (i.e., DiBlasio, 2000; Gordon et al, 2005), and many stepped models were suggested. Now the effects on the betrayed individual are being examined more closely, apart from whether the couple stays together.…”

Section: Treatment Researchmentioning

confidence: 99%

Counseling Clients Who Have Experienced Undisclosed Infidelity

Curtis

Likis-Werle

Shelton³

2021

The Family Journal

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Undisclosed infidelity is when one partner suspects betrayal, but the other partner denies it. While the literature is replete with helping couples heal from disclosed infidelity, very few scholarly articles address working with betrayed partners of undisclosed infidelity. Researchers indicated the accuracy of detecting undisclosed infidelity and the propensity for betrayers to lie when confronted, thus counselors need to be aware of the traumatic effects associated with undisclosed infidelity to skillfully support clients.

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“…According to the theoretical framework developed by Gordon et al ( 2004 ) for the intervention with severe transgressions in committed relationships, three tasks have to be accomplished in the forgiveness process in order to achieve positive relational outcomes (Gordon and Baucomb, 2003 ; Gordon et al, 2004 ): absorbing the emotional impact of the event; understanding and reconstructing the relationship rules and the third stage in which the negative affect decreases and they move beyond the offense and sometimes negotiate their “relational covenant” (Hargrave, 1994 ). Throughout the process of forgiveness, these types of behaviors displayed by the offender give the victim a clue as to whether the transgressor has engaged in a genuine process of forgiveness (acknowledging the harm, making amends) or, if that is not the case, and it might be unsafe to forgive (Gordon et al, 2020 ).…”

Section: Introductionmentioning

confidence: 99%

Victim's Perspective of Forgiveness Seeking Behaviors After Transgressions

et al. 2021

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Forgiveness seeking after a relational transgression is an important aspect of relational repair from an interpersonal perspective, although it has received much less attention than the process of granting forgiveness. This research focuses on the victim's perspective of the transgressor's behaviors and how they are related to forgiveness and offense characteristics. This paper proposes a multidimensional concept of seeking forgiveness that includes four dimensions: apologies, restorative action, relational caring behaviors, and diverting behaviors. A questionnaire for assessing these dimensions was developed and tested with a general population sample of 450 subjects. Participants recalled a specific offense and then answered a questionnaire about the perceived usefulness of different forgiveness-seeking behaviors, a forgiveness inventory, and several questions regarding the characteristics of the offense (severity, intentionality, and frequency). Our results support the four-factor structure of the questionnaire. As the perceived intentionality of the offense increases, behaviors that are directly related to the transgression, such as apologies and restorative actions, are experienced as less useful for forgiveness. The more hurtful the offense, the less useful the diverting behaviors are. Behavior such as apologies and restorative action are related to a lower (less) motivation for revenge, while all forgiveness-seeking behaviors are related to an increase in feelings of benevolence toward the offender.

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Forgiveness and the Dark Side of Intimate Relationships

Cited by 16 publications

References 1 publication

Forgiveness in Marriage: From Incidents to Marital Satisfaction

Forgiveness in Marriage: From Incidents to Marital Satisfaction

Counseling Clients Who Have Experienced Undisclosed Infidelity

Victim's Perspective of Forgiveness Seeking Behaviors After Transgressions

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