Friends with Benefits, but without the Sex: Straight Women and Gay Men Exchange Trustworthy Mating Advice

Abstract

Although research has made progress in elucidating the benefits exchanged within same- and opposite-sex friendships formed between heterosexual men and women, it is less clear why straight women and gay men form close relationships with one another. The current experiments begin to address this question by exploring a potential benefit hypothesized to be uniquely available to straight women and gay men in the context of these friendships: trustworthy mating advice. Experiment 1 revealed that straight women perceive mating-relevant advice from a gay man to be more trustworthy than similar advice offered by a straight man or woman. Experiment 2 demonstrated that gay men perceive mating advice offered by a straight woman to be more trustworthy than advice offered by a lesbian woman or another gay man. Overall, the results provide initial experimental evidence that relationships between gay men and straight women may be characterized by a mutual exchange of mating-relevant benefits in the absence of sexual interest or competition.

Partner preferences across sexual orientations and biological sex

“…It appears that committed gay men, just like committed straight women, continue to seek emotional closeness from straight female friends. This is consistent with other research highlighting the uniquely beneficial friendships between gay men and straight women (Russell et al, ; Shepperd et al, ) compared to friendships between lesbians and straight men (Muraco, ).…”

“…Consistent with research showing heterosexual men are more likely to disclose to and have higher expectations for female interaction partners than male interaction partners (Fuhrman et al, 2009;Hill & Stull, 1987), this study found that gay men have higher expectations for their straight female friends than for their gay male friends. Consistent with research showing that women rate their same-sex friendships higher than men rate theirs (Dindia & Allen, 1992;Kuttler & La Greca, 2004), and that gay men rely on straight women more than gay men for mating advice (Russell et al, 2013), this study found that lesbians had higher expectations for their gay female friends than for their straight male friends, and gay men had higher expectations for their straight female friends than lesbians did for their straight male friends.…”

“…These results depart from Fuhrman and colleagues in that there were no romantic status effects for friendship expectations. This is likely owing to LG individuals' greater reliance on their friends for social support and owing to the unique friendships between gay men and straight women (Muraco, ; Russell et al, ; Shepperd et al, ). This further supports the argument that partner preferences for emotional closeness and social companionship are more a function of the partner's biological sex than they are of romantic attraction, and highlights the incremental construct validity provided by LG individuals in research investigating partner preferences.…”

“…Furthermore, committed LG dyads engage in more harmonious conflict interactions compared to heterosexuals, a finding attributable to similar gender roles (Gottman et al, ). Lastly, recent research has found that gay men rely equally on lesbians and straight women to help them find a romantic partner; however, straight women only trust mating advice from gay men and not straight men (Russell, Del Priore, Butterfield, & Hill, ). This is a prime example of gender socialization, as the friendship expectations for gay men differed based on biological sex but not sexual orientation, whereas the friendship expectations for straight women differed based on sexual orientation for friends of the same biological sex.…”

Can Being Gay Provide a Boost in the Hiring Process? Maybe If the Boss is Female

“…Heterosexual women have also reported that they feel better about themselves when they spend time with gay male friends (Barlett, Patterson, VanderLaan, & Vasey, 2009) and they trust the honest advice of their gay friends more than the advice from other women (Russell, DelPriore, Butterfield, & Hill, 2013). Women also tend to score higher on a measure called the homopositivity scale, which measures positive stereotypes of gay men's warmth including items like, "Gay men are more in touch with their emotions than straight men."…”