From ignorance to knowledge: Sexual consent and queer stories

Abstract

The problem of sexual assault has received increasing public attention over the last few years, with an increasing focus on the concept of sexual consent to solve the problem. Education efforts focus on teaching people what consent is and how to explicitly communicate about sex, constructing consent as a knowledge problem. Using the stories of queer adults, this study calls for the development of an epistemology of sexual consent. I argue that the current research and scholarship fail to recognise existing knowledge about sexual consent, relegating sexual consent to an epistemology of ignorance. Queer participants in this study demonstrated sophisticated knowledge of sexual consent through their talk on the role of verbal consent cues and articulating how they “tune in” to their partners during sex. Within their talk, verbal consent was sometimes viewed as essential to consent, while at times was not necessary, and at other times was not enough to understand a partner's sexual consent. Importantly, they described deep knowledge about partners’ comfort, discomfort or hesitation through “tuning in”. Developing an epistemology of sexual consent requires recognising and valuing what participants tell us about what they know about their partners’ willingness to engage in sex.

Uncovering young people's situational construction of sexual consent

“…Sanne (23/cis woman/ heteroflexible) argued that it was better "to get each other's consent to sex in a sober state", before having sex in an intoxicated state, since consent to sex in a sober state "was more reliable". Therefore, the participants seemed to draw on the notion that NSEs happen due to miscommunication, which supports the "miscommunication hypothesis" (see also Beres, 2022;Kitzinger & Frith, 1999;Maryn, 2021;O'Byrne et al, 2006O'Byrne et al, , 2008, similar to the first repertoire. On the other hand, however, alcohol intoxication was perceived as leading to a greater risk of miscommunication as the "intoxicated self" (in this case, the person at the receiving end of the sexual interaction) was viewed as less able to communicate reliable consent.…”

“…While previous research has investigated the discourses that influence the processes of consent that resemble the repertoires found in this study, our study contributes to previous research by highlighting in what situations and with what aims and purposes young people draw on those repertoires to construct sexual consent. Our study showed that the participants drew on a neoliberal discourse (see also Beres, 2007;Loick, 2019;MacKinnon, 2016) and the miscommunication hypothesis (Beres, 2022;Kitzinger & Frith, 1999;Maryn, 2021;O'Byrne et al, 2006O'Byrne et al, , 2008 when discussing sexual consent in general and when arguing for their sexual consent communication practices. When discussing sexual consent in relation to gendered practices and expectations, many of the heterosexual participants drew on traditional masculine and feminine expectations in relation to sex and sexual consent (e.g., the "male sexual drive discourse", "women as gatekeepers, men as sexual initiators" etc.).…”

“…Finally, when the participants discussed sexual consent under the influence of heavy alcohol intoxication, most of them drew on discourses on alcohol's transformational effects on (sexual) behaviour (Tutenges, 2012;Tutenges et al, 2020) to make meaning of their alcohol intoxicated sexual encounters and why they would behave differently (compared to when sober) in relation to consent while intoxicated. Many of them, simultaneously, drew on a neoliberal discourse (Beres, 2007;Loick, 2019;MacKinnon, 2016) and the miscommunication hypothesis (Beres, 2022;Kitzinger & Frith, 1999;Maryn, 2021;O'Byrne et al, 2006O'Byrne et al, , 2008 when discussing whether it was ok to have sex while intoxicated and consent communication under the influence of alcohol intoxication.…”

“…Many participants also constructed a version of the "intoxicated self" that was both similar to and different to the "rational self" when discussing the communication of sexual consent in an alcohol intoxicated state. In this case, they mostly referred to matters related to miscommunication (see also Beres, 2022;Kitzinger & Frith, 1999;Maryn, 2021;O'Byrne et al, 2006O'Byrne et al, , 2007, which was also characteristic of the first repertoire. However, alcohol intoxication seemed to increase the risk of misunderstanding one's sexual consent communication, therefore providing different consent communication possibilities for the "intoxicated self" compared to the "rational self".…”

Trauma-informed Consent Education: Understanding the Grey Area of Consent Through the Experiences of Youth Trauma Survivors

“…Moreover, shifting to a trauma-informed, anti-oppressive framework for consent education that does not rely on a binary concept opens up the possibilities for addressing persistent systemic forms of oppression that create grey areas for all youth. Notably, future research should examine the lessons for consent education from BIPOC, Two-Spirit, queer, trans and/or non-binary communities who cite a legacy of challenging binaries and refusing a normative model of consent (see Bauer 2021;Beres 2021;de Heer et al 2021). Principles of disability justice should also be incorporated into anti-oppressive, trauma-informed consent education (Wright 2021b).…”