We study confining strings in massive adjoint two-dimensional chromodynamics. Off-shell, as a consequence of zigzag formation, the resulting worldsheet theory provides a non-trivial dynamical realization of infinite quon statistics. Taking the high energy limit we identify a remarkably simple and novel integrable relativistic N -body system. Its symmetry algebra contains an additional "shadow" Poincaré subalgebra. This model describes the N -particle subsector of a TT -deformed massless fermion.